Biblical Principles (Part 3) - A Crafty Lure into Joy?

"Sorry this is so long - I didn't have time to make it shorter."

One of the most amazing books of the 20^th century is Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People.  It was life changing for me when I read it when I was about 19 or 20.  Dealing with people had always been a mystery to me, and I primarily experienced failed efforts to develop relationships and tried get people’s affirmation and attention by trying to be smart, cute, funny, etc.  But here was a book that had relationship principles (relationship mechanics) that made sense to me.  It was like a physics book on human beings, like Newton’s laws of action and reaction.  It opened up a whole new world to me – people.  And in this amazing book I learned that I could get what I wanted (relationships and attention) by being interested in others, listening to them, giving them honest appreciation, not criticizing them, etc.  And, for me, it “worked”; I could have friends.

Now, as a Christian, I read the book and still think that it is amazing.  It ought to be called The Mechanics of Love.  It is such a great book on how to communicate love to someone; that you are interested in them and that they are valuable and appreciated.  I have not seen a superior volume on how to be a good friend to someone. 

What’s interesting is that the book is marketed and sold very much on the basis of WIIFM- What’s in it for me.  On the back it says, “For over 50 years the rock-solid, time-tested advice in this book has carried thousands of now famous people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives.  There is room at the top, when you know How to Win Friends and Influence People.”

However, though the verbiage on the cover of the book sounds like it’s a book on How to Manipulate People to Get What You Want, when you read the book, Carnegie is always beating the drum of sincerity.  Sincerely becoming interested in people. Sincerely giving them approbation and praise.  Sincerely making others feel important.  He frequently beats the drum that should not be a fake, a flatterer or insincere.  And in the book you find this contagious joy that he has found in sincerely being a friend to others.

So what I see from this book is that a person can practice the principles in the book for the wrong reasons (maybe they just want to get ahead in business or, like me, they are tired of being a relational loser).  Then as they practice them, they understand the value of doing the principles and begin doing them for the right reasons – because they really are interested in others and want to communicate their value to them, i.e., they really begin to love people.  Then they experience a real joy.

So, from this I derive:

1.     Principles are a vehicle, a means, and not an end.  In other words, a person could practice the principles in the book for the right reasons (they really are sincere and love others) or for the wrong reasons (they want to selfishly manipulate people to get what they want). 

2.     The result of practicing principles is that it can lead a person from practicing them for the wrong reasons to practicing them for the right reasons.  Could it be that, “crafty fellow that he is” (from Paul - 2 Cor 12:16), Carnegie is using others’ own selfishness to bait them into some true joy?

Now, the handful of you that wade through my dangerous writing did not come here to hear about the words of Dale Carnegie, but about the Word of God.  Can these things be extrapolated to the Bible and to “Biblical Principles?”

1.     Principles as a means, not an end. 

Take Proverbs 11:25, for example: “The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be watered.”  This verse makes a physical connection between generosity and prosperity, and between water others and being watered ourselves.  This could be used selfishly, thinking, “If I want others to like me, I need to be interested in them.” Or “If I want my business to succeed, I need to get out there and meet people and give to them.”  By contrast, a person could simply have found that there is joy in being generous and in giving and watering others, and practices these things for love.  Then in accordance with the verse, they are prosperous and watered (not that they were trying to get this, it just happens because the principle is true).  So, yes, the principle is means not an end.

2.     The practice of principles can lead to doing them for the right reasons.

What if, crafty fellow that He is, God uses your own selfish desire for happiness to lure you into a greater joy?  What if He gives principles with tangible rewards to entice us into a greater joy that we find when we actually do them, a greater joy that could not be put into words or understood by anyone who had not practiced the principle?  For example, this:

Luk 14:12-14    And He also went on to say to the one who had invited Him, "When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, otherwise they may also invite you in return and that will be your repayment. But when you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."

What if it not only would be a repayment at the resurrection of the righteous, but what if it was a real joy NOW, but this is God’s way of luring us into some real joy that we would never discover any other way than by doing it for “selfish” reasons?

Psalm 25:14 The secret of the LORD is for those who fear Him, And He will make them know His covenant.