The Chuck Norris FIRST in Amazing Abilities Award

The Chuck Norris FIRST in Amazing Abilities Award is awarded to the person in the history of all who have ever lived who demonstrated the greatest super-human abilities. Chuck Norris is famous for his amazing capabilities, and therefore deserves to have this award named for him. Some of Chuck’s awesome dynamics are:
1. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
2. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
3. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
4. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
6. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

However, the Chuck Norris FIRST in Amazing Abilities Award does not go to Chuck Norris, but to… (envelop please)… Jesus Christ! Here are Jesus’ qualifications for this prestigious award:

1. While Chuck Norris may hold all the world records in the Guinness Book, Jesus Christ created Chuck Norris, the world, and all the people who hold the records. Jesus Christ holds all of Chuck Norris’s molecules together and if He ever lets go of them Chuck Norris will explode into nothingness.
For by [Jesus Christ] all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. Col 1:16,17

2. While Chuck Norris has never cured cancer, but Jesus Christ has raised the dead, caused the blind to see, healed the lame, and reattached severed body parts.
And [Jesus] answered and said to them, "Go and report to John [the Baptist]what you have seen and heard: the blind receive sight, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, the poor have the gospel preached to them. Luke 7:22

3. When Chuck Norris counted to infinity, Jesus Christ was waiting for him at the end.
"I [Jesus Christ] am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end." Rev 22:13

4. While the Boogeyman may check his closet for Chuck Norris, demons beg Jesus Christ’s permission before they can even mess with a pig.
The demons began to entreat [Jesus], saying, "If You are going to cast us out, send us into the herd of swine." Mt. 8:31

5. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil. Jesus Christ did not have to sell his soul to the devil, He stomped the devil on the head with much more than a roundhouse kick, defeated him, and one day will cast him into a lake of fire.
And the devil who deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are also; and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever. Rev 20:10

6. Chuck Norris has been to Mars. Mars, along with the entire universe, was created by Jesus Christ by speaking it into existence. There is no life there because Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth and the Life, and He decided not to put any there.
Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me. John 14:6

7. One day Chuck Norris, like everybody else, will bow on his knees before Jesus Christ (Phil 2:10).
For this reason also, God highly exalted [Jesus Christ], and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Phil 2:9-11

8. Jesus Christ holds the keys to death and hell (Rev 1:18). He determines when Chuck Norris will die (Ps 139:16) and whether Chuck Norris will go to heaven or hell (Lk 12:5).
“I [Jesus Christ]have the keys of death and of Hades.” Rev 1:18

9. If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks Jesus Christ in the face, Jesus Christ is so powerful that he doesn’t have to get mad and kill Chuck Norris – He can forgive him.
When they came to the place called The Skull, there they crucified [Jesus] and the criminals, one on the right and the other on the left. But Jesus was saying, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing." Luke 23:33,34

10. No matter how “bad” Chuck Norris is, Jesus Christ has paid the penalty for, suffered for and died for his sin, and can save him (Pet 3:18).
For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit; 1Pe 3:18

The bottom line is that Jesus Christ is King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and has first place in everything. Chuck Norris will simply have to take…second place.

[Jesus Christ] is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything. Col 1:18